Now why the hicklydoo did ya go & call it ‘Get Paid to Fart’?

Have you noticed how many ‘get-paid-to’ sites are out there? It’s not a trick question. If you haven’t noticed, then thank God, you have a life! (Good. Go live it up some more, watch the sun set, run slow-mo on the beach towards the one you love, corn-row your hair so tight you look like a Chinese Bo Derek and run, my child, run towards the one you love).

Anyway, I digress – the word ‘Get Paid to Fart’ is really just a playful dig at the plethora of gpt sites out there and what they offer to pay you to do – whether it’s getting paid by an advertiser to take surveys or to visit their site, or to write posts about them on your blog, or stick up their ad on your blog, blahdy, blah, blah – so I thought, whatever are they gonna come up with next? And my mind started to wander. Picture the scene:

Advertiser X: Erm, ‘xcuse me…

Me: Hey, lil guy! What’s up?!

Advertiser X: Erm, we’re working on a government-funded clinical trial to see if farts can work as a natural energy source for electricity.

Me: Oh, really?

Advertiser X: Mhhmm …and we’re looking for people whose farts are environmentally-friendly – you know, the kind that doesn’t rip a hole in Mother Earth’s already fragile exterior?

Me: Erm. OK.

Advertiser X: We believe people who can do this have a talent.

Me: I see.

Advertiser X: In our preparatory research, we found that people who do yoga tend to release the friendliest of farts. You look like you do Yoga.

Me: Yes, as a matter of fact, I do!

Advertiser X: So what do you say? Can we sponsor you to fart? You’ll be paid handsomely, like Brad-Pitt handsomely.

Me: Yeah, sure, why not?

Advertiser X: ‘cos we know how hard it is to fart with a conscience…

Me: (blush) thank you…

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