2009 has been one of my hardest years on a personal and financial level. In 2010, I want it to be different. Rather than focusing on problems, I want to focus on solutions. This is a whole new way of thinking for me ‘cos I’m used to zoning in on problems …almost with mathematical precision. Sometimes I’ll go the other way: complete denial. To the extreme.
Either way, it’s a disabling habit.
I was in the bath the other day and I got to thinking: focusing on the problem doesn’t make the problem go away. Nah-ah, it feeds it. Makes its eyes bigger, its teeth sharper.
My no.1 priority is to be in a healthier financial position by the end of 2010. Maybe I’ll have to put some of my dreams on hold until then, and maybe to some extent I’ll have to knuckle down and do things that aren’t a particular passion of mine, but I so want the peace of mind and empowerment that comes with knowing that I don’t owe anyone a single penny and that I can pay my bills not just some times, but all the time.
I’d love to have some savings aside and live comfortably, but if paying off all my debt by the end of 2010 is the only thing I get to do, then it’d be a job well done and I’d be soooo proud of myself.
My homework over the next couple of days is to take stock of all that I owe. Believe me, I need a few days because there are some bills that have grown little paper legs and hidden somewhere in the flat. But I’ll find them.
I have dreams. Grand dreams. But this particular dream – becoming 100% debt-free – will be a thread that runs through 2010 until it’s achieved. It’s not going to be easy. I know myself better than anyone – I can be my worst enemy. But somehow, I’m just gonna have to learn (how) to be a better friend to myself.